Regardless of the support I have and the good wishes, good thoughts and prayers I'm receiving from people in my life, I have discovered that going through something like this is a very lonely propositon.
No matter how much people want to help, the bottom line is that I must go through it alone. They can be there to give me a hug, to hold me when I cry, to tell me everything is going to be OK, but in the quiet of my own mind, I am the only one who silently considers what this means to me.
I look at my dogs and wonder if I will out live them and if not, who will take care of them. I look at my home and wonder if I will see the day it truly reflects who I am. I look at my dreams and wonder if they will ever come true. I look at the road before me - the treatments, the follow-up and the lifestyle changes to be made - and I know that no one will go through them for me. Others may hold our hands or cradle us to give us comfort, but like birth and death, cancer is a road we travel alone.
L
P.S. Be sure to check out www.brownnosingonline.com to follow my Brown-Nosing 101 progress.
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