Cancer is Lonely

Regardless of the support I have and the good wishes, good thoughts and prayers I'm receiving from people in my life, I have discovered that going through something like this is a very lonely propositon.

No matter how much people want to help, the bottom line is that I must go through it alone.  They can be there to give me a hug, to hold me when I cry, to tell me everything is going to be OK, but in the quiet of my own mind, I am the only one who silently considers what this means to me. 

I look at my dogs and wonder if I will out live them and if not, who will take care of them.  I look at my home and wonder if I will see the day it truly reflects who I am.  I look at my dreams and wonder if they will ever come true.  I look at the road before me - the treatments, the follow-up and the lifestyle changes to be made - and I know that no one will go through them for me.  Others may hold our hands or cradle us to give us comfort, but like birth and death, cancer is a road we travel alone.

L

P.S. Be sure to check out www.brownnosingonline.com to follow my Brown-Nosing 101 progress.

Comments

[brian hepler]

I found my self strangely saddened for you when reading the post about loneliness. Not pity or anything, but just reflecting on my own life and issues, wondering if I have been as brave or strong as you are right now. It may not be much comfort, but I have always found some solace in this:

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart... try to love the questions themselves...do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you...live the questions now." Rainer Maria Rilke

It probably feels like paitence is the last thing on your mind, but maybe see at it as reflective and a time to breathe, gather thoughts, sometimes wisdom comes from not seeking. Little early in the morning for all this philosophy, but always better with a rising sun.

Brian

[ltkulka]

Thank you, Brian. It seems I can always count on you to share a good thought (or good chocolate) when I need it most. You have a gift my friend - a rare and wonderful gift.