Brown-Nosing 101

Take Inventory of WHO you need to know

In previous posts I've hammered the point that people need to know you to insure that you remain on the radar screen when choice jobs, assignments and projects come around.  Equally important is understanding who in an organization can make things happen for you and who you need to know.  Watch Brownnosers in action --- they are masters at this.  You should be, too.

I heard a great story last night from a friend who spent just under 10 years in the military.  Just before he left home his Dad gave him some great brown-nosing advice.

"Son, no matter where you go, not matter where you are stationed around the world, there are three people you need to get to know immediately.  Get to know someone in the mess hall.  Then get to know someone in supply, and then get to know someone in the company commander's office.  That way, you'll always have the food you need, the supplies you require and most important, information."

This guy's dad was teaching him some basic survival skills which aren't much different than those  needed for survival in Corporate America, or for that matter, in any organization on the planet!  Understand this and you can move from survival to thriving in very little time.

Are you a Brown-Nosing Cynic?

I've received some interesting emails from readers of this blog who seem to think that these Brown-Nosing skills are not needed for you to get a promotion.  In fact, some of you continue to believe that being good at your job is all that should be required and you are even whining about the fact that your organization is full of brownnosers and you can't get anywhere and I'm doing nothing but promoting the behavior.  No, I am not promoting being a brownnoser.  I am promoting the use of the skills that brownnosers use which is a BIG difference.  

If you think that building relationships and alliances, creating visibility for yourself and your work, positioning yourself and your ideas in ways that make people see their value and being able to make fundamental human connections with others is all a bunch of bunk, allow me to enlighten you by sharing a lesson - one I like to call Organizations and Careers 101.

As you continue to take on increasing levels of responsibility in your organization the skills required to be successful at those levels changes.  There are three types of skills that people need at work; technical skills, human relations skills, and conceptual or strategic skills.

Are you a Brown-Noser?

My experience with the breast cancer diagnosis  left me realizing that not only can I recognizie good brown-nosing skill, but I apparently have some of it, too.

I was talking with a friend about the experience and I had a good chuckle when I told this story.  While coming out of anesthesia after surgery, I recall looking up at the nurses in front of me and telling them what angels of mercy they were, how kind they were, how they perform a job that is so critical to the well being of others, that they have hearts of gold and I would never forget them (I still haven't!), blah, blah, blah.

My friends and family  who were around me in the recovery just smiled and said, "The quintessential brown-noser - even now."  Then and amazing thing happened.  The nurses quickly dashed off to get me extra blankets,  juice,  water, crackers and candy.

OK, so maybe the drug induced state had something to do with my ability to easily offer compliments to people I thought were doing a good job.  But just yesterday I found myself doing it again - no drugs!

Another Natural Born Brown-Noser

I've already written about my friend's son David, a natural born brown-noser, but I have to share another story.

I was just invited to spend some time over the Thanksgiving holiday with my family in Savannah and am reminded that I have not spoken my 'pseudo' nephew Alex (my cousin's son whom I've known from birth) since he returned from an internship in Bangladesh this past summer.  I look forward to catching up with him. 

Alex has been called a 'BS'er' by everyone who knows him.  He doesn't think much about it - he simply smiles widely and clearly feels very comfortable being who he is.

A while back, when I reminded him that I was writing a book on Brown-Nosing, he offered these (few) words of wisdom.  "I BS and brown-nose because I want people to feel good about themselves and I want them to feel good about me."  Whoah!!!  Beware, all of you,  who will be competing with this guy in a few years!

Brown-Nosing Behavior and Getting What You Want

As I sit down to write this there is a 100lb. Rottweiler staring me in the face.  Loosha is smiling and panting and pawing me with all the affection she can muster.  Lying on the floor behind her is Kayla, my Shepherd/Greyhound mix and Strider, my Chihuahua.  They are acting aloof but are well aware of the game that is now being played between Loosha and me.

You see, it is shortly after noon and typically I give the dogs a treat at this time.  Once Loosha figured this out, she began to use my intention to her advantage.  At approximately noon every day (don't tell me they can't tell time), she will track me down and begin her brown-nosing game. 

First, she gives me a big, wet, slobbery kiss.  Then she insistently paws at my hands, which are usually on the keyboard, until I stop what I'm doing to pet her.  She continues to smile and give me kisses, acting as if I'm the only thing on the planet that could ever make her happy.  I'm not fooled. I know this is her way of reminding me that it's treat time.

Today it was very apparent that I had seen this same brown-nosing  behavior for many years in the corporate work force.

Breast Cancer Blues and Brown-nosing

Breast cancer awareness month is good news and bad news for me.  Good news because it means that we continue the work to understand this disease but bad news because it reminds me that I am a member of a sorority that I did not pledge.  I am reminded of my ordeal just three years ago.

I couldn't believe that less than one month after being diagnosed with breast cancer I was having trouble remaining focused. Oh my God, I thought...I'm human! What a difficult way to learn this lesson.   Of course, a diagnosis like this made me spend some time thinking about what it means to be human and in line with my objective here - to bring my message of competent brown-nosing to the world of repressed talent - it also caused me to reevaluate how I might use this adversity to that end.

I've been spreading my home grown brand of brown-nosing through this blog for a while now and even this cancer experience has shown me how these four skills - gaining visibility, connecting, networking and positioning - are used by all of us all the time. For those of you who can't imagine using 'brown-nosing' skill to further your own agenda, let me share a real world example from this experience.

Brown-Nosing for Breast Cancer Research

No doubt you know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Here is a story from my past that will illustrate how little things can make a big difference when raising your visibility and connecting with people. This one comes courtesy of a group of students who completed a marketing class with me during a particularly difficult time in my life.  It is short, but poignant.

I finished a class that was conducted in a hybrid modality - the first and last classes were held face to face with students on ground at the campus and the classes in between were held online.  This particular class was somewhat difficult because the night before I was to meet the students for the first time I learned that I had breast cancer.  After virtually no sleep the previous night I arrived early Saturday morning, April 29th, and needless to say, was not on top of my game.

In a posting in the online classroom several weeks later I shared  what had been transpiring in my life and as might be expected, several students made it a point to continually connect with me to ask how I was doing.  There was never any doubt in my mind that their concerns were sincere, so clearly they were accomplished students of the L.S.Teza Brown-nosing method - i.e. show sincere concern for others before you think about what might be in it for you  (visit www.brownnosingonline.com to learn more). 

Building Alliances with Positioning Skill

Positioning is one of the greatest brown-nosing skills in the brown-noser's arsenal and it is one that all of us would be wise to understand and learn.  During these troubled times, when people are somewhat uneasy about their positions at work, is not the time to keep your head down and not rock the boat.  Now is the time to step up and show how you add real value by positioning your ideas in a way that illustrates you have the organization's best interest in mind.  It also helps you build alliances which fortifies your professional network -  always a good thing, but even more important now.  Here's a simple example from the book, Brown-Nosing 101: A career survival manuel for the rest of us, that shows how this can be done. 

I once overheard a conversation about trade show booths. A group of marketing and sales people were discussing how best to increase their product's exposure at national trade shows. The booth that the trade show team set up to present the company had been in use for many years and was universally deemed to be a bit dated and ineffective. During the course of the conversation, one member of the team said, rather forcefully, “Look, we need to invest in something new. Let’s face it, this thing is terrible.”

While most people in the room agreed, but I couldn’t help thinking to myself, “What if someone in this room had originally suggested the booth that was currently being used? By saying it was terrible, is it possible that the person might feel threatened or offended? Might that person begin to think that he made a bad decision? Or that he was being challenged?  Might it put him on the defensive for making the original decision?" 

Now, in all fairness, the critics were quite right: I saw the booth--it was terrible. Sometimes, with the passage of time, good ideas become bad ones. It would be nice if everyone recognized this and get over any personal attachment they have to ideas that have passed their time. However, I am well aware that not everyone feels the same way I do.

 

Golf, Business and Building Relationships

I have a simple lesson for you today....

A friend just called me to tell me he was going to play golf with his boss in the morning.   I asked him,"What's your plan for the day?"  He knows me well enough to know that I was asking him how he expected to continue building a strong relationship with his boss using this opportunity.

There are a great number of ways he could do this - but his response seemed astute and responsible. "I intend to lose by only a few strokes."

Why do I think this is wise?  Because it indicates an understanding that EVERYONE, including his boss, has an ego.  Since the boss knows he's invited someone with a lower handicap, if he loses by a wide margin, that could seem patronizing.  If he wins by a wide margin, that could cause the boss some ego consequences of his own, so in this case it seemed wise to err on the side of caution.

My Dog Kayla Doesn't Brown-Nose

I've already shared stories about two of my dogs - Loosha, the biggest brown-noser I know, and Strider, the little guy that uses the size and power of his big canine sisters to get noticed.  And then there's Kayla.

Kayla was a shelter puppy.  While searching for a companion for my Rottweiler I spotted her in our local animal control.  (A very sad place that can make your heart break if you are not careful).  Over the course of an hour I took a couple of puppies into the 'bonding' area but none of them seemed the right match for me or the personality of the Rotty.  Then, as I was about to leave.  I spotted her. 

"You're a pretty little thing," I heard myself saying.  An obvious German Shepherd and Greyhound mix she had the coloring and size of a shepherd with floppy ears and the enlongated, narrow nose and face of a greyhound with the most beautiful eyes, lined in black I'd ever seen.  Once in the bonding area, she rolled over on her back and licked my face.  I was smitten.

Kayla has been with us for 4 years now and it is very apparent that she is NOT a brown-noser.  She is friendly, but aloof.  She'll say hello, then quickly go back to her 'job' chasing squirrels and hunting for lizards and moles in the yard.  She's good at it. She's caught all kinds of critters ---- but while she's out doing her job, her brown-nosing 'sister' Loosha is inside getting all kinds of attention and treats.